Or Why I’m Writing This at Midnight.

I might do better work when I panic. I am not saying that procrastination is a good thing. However, I tend to work harder at the things I am worried about. And if panicking, I work even harder. I am not sure if panic work is my best work or not. Right now I am a little panicked as it is almost midnight and I need to fill a page for myself because it is a personal commitment that I have. So you might say that I am panic writing.

When I procrastinate before shows, I end up throwing a bunch of pots in a short amount of time. I think maybe the panic throwing is, in some ways, helpful. All the decisions that were in my head must be worked out for the deadline. The deadline and the panic help me to sift through the clutter and self-talk and doubt and make a decision.

Once that decision is made I am able to go to it and create. I do not think there is such a thing as potter’s block. Maybe there is just a fear of making bad pots or making them in the wrong way. When a big deadline is looming all that is forced to be worked out and pots get made somehow. And once it is over I wonder how I made them all and got things done on time.

For me panic seems to work out as the deadlines cause me to make decisions I would take forever making, as at times I am simply swimming in a sea of them and for sure use those decisions and doing research as a way to avoid making a decision and simply doing the work and making the pots. I need to get a practice down of making pots like I do my writing here. If I made as many pots as I typed words I would not need any more pots as I would be swimming in them. So what about you? Do you do better with deadlines looming? Do you use panic as fuel? Let me know!

If I were living yesterday a second time: I would have started this post at 9:00 PM instead of 11:45. I would have made one pot during the day so I wasn’t just writing about panic work, I was doing it.

Things I am grateful for: The midnight deadline that forced me to fill the page. The panic that cuts through clutter and doubt. Deadlines that make decisions for me.

Days remaining if I live to 86: 12,714

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